In a world where people are starving, wars are being waged, terrorists have their own schools and Gordon Brown is allowed to be a Prime Minister, Stir the Beans is proud to impart some fantastic news!
Following in man's great tradition of exploration, NASA have today announced that their 'Phoenix' mission to Mars has landed. Everything worked properly, there were no hitches and the craft touched down on the red planet as planned. So what great thing happened when the first pictures came through? What did these scientists - considered as experts in their field - discover?
Well; nothing actually. They discovered that there is nothing there. Furthermore, the landing craft helpfully beamed back a picture of the surface (at 04:53:54 Pacific Time), just to show us non-scientific types what 'nothing' looks like.
Now - I have already freely admitted that I'm no scientist. Maybe, as such, I should be impressed by the fact that millions of dollars have been spent on 'discovering' something that most people knew already. I reckon I could have helped them though. For a fraction of the cost of this mission, I would have laid on a trip to Dursley in Gloucestershire.
Here, nothing happens. Granted, there are a few more buildings than there are on Mars. However, in the search for intelligent life, I reckon they're about level pegging. Still; it would have given them an insight on what to do next. Personally, I can't wait for the three months' worth of data that this mission will provide humankind with. It should really provide us with a deeper understanding of, er, nothingness.
Meanwhile, in Spain, grown men are jumping over babies in an ancient ritual designed to ward off evil spirits.
Hey! You know what?! I've just realised; I've not woken up yet! Thank God. For a moment there, I thought this was all real!
Phew...
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