Just shoot me...

Here at Stir The Beans, we love the U.S. No - we really do. One of us has spent a fair bit of time working there over the years and each state is like a different country. However, they share a few things in common. One of these is weaponry and another is a quite staggeringly unbelievable affection for the offensively tacky. Well; now they have combined the two! Step forward the designer armourer! Too sartorially embarrassed to be a terrorist? Don't know which way to look at your fellow soldiers? Yeah, we know, those uniforms are soo, well, uniform! Worry no more! Now you can treat yourself to a semi-automatic rifle from your favourite designer! Fendi, Versace, anyone you can think of in fact...

I think our personal favourite has to be the item de rigeur for the elegant serial killer of 2008. There really is only one choice; the Louis Vuitton chainsaw. Honestly! I wouldn't be slaughtered by anything else! Add to this the Gucci landmine (it blows you to bits without damaging your loafers) and Britney's very own range of Spears...

Britain has to get in on the act. Can you imagine the effect that it would have on the Officers of the British Army? All downhill, I assure you...

'Binky, I say - have you seen our new hand grenades?'
'No, old chap, what's the prob?'
'They're pinky, Binky, that's the prob! How's a chap supposed to beat the Taliban with pink grenades?! What will they think of us?'
'Haven't a clue old chap. Have you seen my hair straighteners? They came free with a set of rocket launchers from 'Laboratoire Garnier'...